The review on the Microsoft Sidewinder
Force Feedback Wheel by Julian Lit two days back actually shocked me profoundly, for the
damndest reason of all - if Microsoft couldn't come up with a decent wheel, who the hell
can? I thought that I would buy Microsoft as a default choice, very much like buying a
bloody stupid Creative card as a default choice.
But if the default choice were bloody flawed, it was time to
rethink my assumptions. Meaning, I gotta decide otherwise and look hard this time. So, off
your lazy ass, boy!
What worried me in Julian's article was:
Gameport, SHITPOT! My gameport is the domain of my Force Feedback
Pro joystick, and I don't relish the fact that I gotta plug in and plug out all the time.
This is shit!
But it was not clear in Julian's review, so I checked out the web
for more comments from Ang Mo kias about this point. Lookit a sample of
what I found, and you guys puke babes!
"The fact that the wheel is
gameport-only bothers us."
So it's confirmed. It's a stupid screw-up. Microsoft didn't have
the chip technology for USB force feedback eh? So those valued critics of mine would say,
so what if there's no USB? I'll tell you 'so what'.
1) So, you experience steering lag coz the gameport's slower than
a grandma snail! Julian's article
2) So, you gotta plug and unplug the bloody thing until your
gameport feels like a used whore. Definitely not for the virtuous. Even the Pope (who
incidentally released a CD with him rapping to pop music) would not absolve that kinda
3) So, you won't be able to tell your friends, MY FORCE FEEDBACK
USB LAH, YOUR ONE WEAK LAH BECAUSE USE GAMEPORT ONLY. YOU STUPID FREAK! GAMEPORT ALREADY
NOT HAPPENING MAN! (That's how I usually speak to my friends. Why I downgrade myself to
using less expressive lamer shit proper English when I write this column is beyond me.)
So, damnit, a gameport FF Wheel is like being pissed on by your
friends after they punch you down. So Flashman's imperious recommendation Number 1: