|
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 7638
|
What talking me?
Nevermind.... we all often watch movies or read on the papers of single woman going out with a married man, and vice-vers (seriously I seldom hear of single man dating a married woman because in my opinion, women tend to stay faitful, unless there is something wrong with either party).
Of course, guys will be cursing at the man dating the married woman, while females would all be calling the girl a slut. But then, have we all ever considered the fact that emotions when it stikes is not as easy as ABC to jump out of?
The pair knows damm well that they are committing adultery, knowing well that it's wrong (in some countries it's punishable by death) have one ever considered that the married party would be cursing at life because they meet their sunshine too late in their life? or the sun that once shined so brightly for them is now dimmed or in a serious case, is now shinning for somebody else.
Areas for discussion :
Looks like situations that can cause a ship to sail into troubled waters are...
1)He or she finds someone who can provide that magical touch that his/her present spouse can't?
2)Either spouse could be suffering from an illness that is affecting their sex lives which prompt the other party to look for another avenue?
3)Both parties got "roving eyes & hyper-active sex organs that will die without extra-maritial affairs"?
4)One party has a habbit that is causing grief to the family? (eg, one party is a gambler/drinker/drug addict(?) and draining family resources to support bad habbits)
The 4 points are just what I think of as a probability, what other points could you think of? and what do you think contributes to the consequences of action?
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 2475
|
quote:
Originally posted by Cookee:
(seriously I seldom hear of single man dating a married woman because in my opinion, women tend to stay faitful, unless there is something wrong with either party).
in singapore, there are more and more cases of the above situation happening...usually it is between parties in the same workplace...
the lady usually would be in a higher position than the guy...i came across an article on this situation in an issue of HER WORLD...forgot which issue...happened to pick it up to read at someone's house...
the reasons the women gave are in your point 1...she finds someone who can provide that magical touch that her present spouse can't but does not want to divorce the husband cos she still loves him...and the affair gives the women a sense of power...the power to 'get rid' of the guy as and when she pleases...
the guy on the other hand finds excitement in having an affair with a married woman of a higher position in the same office...tho' i dun see what good will come out of this...
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 2973
|
then why do the couples bother marrying each other if they cant stay with each other through thick and thin, to be with each other throughout their ups and downs. To be realistic, yes sex is a factor in a married couple's life. But to make it that without sex, that person have to find another "avenue" is ridiculous. Has these pple ever stop to consider the heartache they cause to their other half?
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 3807
|
quote:
Originally posted by [Hope]:
then why do the couples bother marrying each other if they cant stay with each other through thick and thin, to be with each other throughout their ups and downs. To be realistic, yes sex is a factor in a married couple's life. But to make it that without sex, that person have to find another "avenue" is ridiculous. Has these pple ever stop to consider the heartache they cause to their other half?
I can tell ur not married cos after marriage there is no sex. Sex is for b4 marriage  .
The reason couple get marriage r varied but often u find that like in many countries they do so to set up a home. In Holland thou, marriage is uncommon cos u'll find couples stay together have a few babies but are unmarried. To them is it is just a certificate. Hence i always get this funny feeling when i meet my advisor there & ask him about his wife & kids cos he will look puzzled and say, "Oh my girlfriend you mean" 
This message was edited by Hannibal on 25 May 2001 11:52 AM
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1964
|
its a burning questions allrite. there r many reasons why an individual is not faithful to his/her partners. but i still think that watever those reasons could be, it is still unforgiveable to be unfaithful.
i cant understand why some guys...with great family waiting at home still want to fool ard. just dont get it if their marriage is on the rocks...at least i can understand but to sacrifice a marriage just to try some fetish or kinky sexual acts is simply not worth it.
its unfair to say that only the guys are unfaithful. wives too have been known to fool ard...n they also cite the reason that their husbands are less than capable to satisfy them
having sex is one way to maintain a relationship between MARRIED couples. but sex is not all! there r many things as important that can make a marriage work...n FIDELITY is definitely one of them
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 7638
|
quote:
Originally posted by reverend:
i cant understand why some guys...with great family waiting at home still want to fool ard. just dont get it if their marriage is on the rocks...at least i can understand but to sacrifice a marriage just to try some fetish or kinky sexual acts is simply not worth it.
Bravo!! well said, but sadly again, it's one of the major cause of hitting a so-called "match-made-in-heaven" against the rocks. I've come across some guys who are like this, I can't say that they are bastard guys, just because different individuals have different sexual desires, and who am I to judge? The only difference is how far a person is willing to go to fulfil their desires. Before you women started singing praises for your own sex, there are also women who commits adultery wanting to fulfil their sexual desires too. I don't have any statistic to see the ratio for men to women, but I do believe (from magazines, papers) that there are such cases going on.
quote:
its unfair to say that only the guys are unfaithful. wives too have been known to fool ard...n they also cite the reason that their husbands are less than capable to satisfy them
having sex is one way to maintain a relationship between MARRIED couples. but sex is not all! there r many things as important that can make a marriage work...n FIDELITY is definitely one of them
Yes fidelity is the basic foundation for a beautiful relationship as we move on into a new era, that word is slowly being purged out of a "marriage dictionary" (not everyone though, I would still say that a large majority of them still do)
I once was sitting in a coffee-shop, stirring my usual cup of coffee, it was in the evening time and I could see the beautiful sun setting in the horizon, when a very old couple strolled pass the coffee shop, I guess that they must be about 60-80 years old, and they were holding their hands and pointing to the buildings around them as if they were reliving the old days (probably during their courtship years as both of them strolled down the same aisle, some of these buildings were not even build yet  ) woo hoo! at their age (if my guess is correct) and still being close together is truly what the word fidelity stands for. 
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1877
|
quote:
Originally posted by bwtoh:
in singapore, there are more and more cases of the above situation happening...usually it is between parties in the same workplace...
the lady usually would be in a higher position than the guy...i came across an article on this situation in an issue of HER WORLD...forgot which issue...happened to pick it up to read at someone's house...
the reasons the women gave are in your point 1...she finds someone who can provide that magical touch that her present spouse can't but does not want to divorce the husband cos she still loves him...and the affair gives the women a sense of power...the power to 'get rid' of the guy as and when she pleases...
the guy on the other hand finds excitement in having an affair with a married woman of a higher position in the same office...tho' i dun see what good will come out of this...
its from the april issue... 
|
Normal
Total Posts: 216
|
Well from my personal observesion and a recent event.
I check in with one guy who have been dating a lot.
He said that gers are always the same, they have been together with a guy for like a few yrs, but yet they will still leave for another guy.(sometimes it's usually temp, yes they hold hands and do lover's do's) But it just happen that you found out, and u started a fight, and wow la! broken ties.
The theory I was told was because, gers always love pple showing love to them and stuff. When u are with a guy for sometime, he can be kinda of boring, and their attendtion will sometimes divert to somewhere else more intresting(at least different from what she is expriencing).And she still loves u thou, just that we tries to see if she could get u to do stuff she wants/she has expriences. And some guy doesn;t know and got pissed, ad wow la!..
kekeke!
It's like guys having their fantasy, and girls having theirs..
Cheers
Joel
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 8890
|
hmm...this is all new to ah gong
and it is very disturbing
to actually act out your fantasy when it will risk everything good you have...hmmm
*deep pondering*
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1964
|
quote:
Originally posted by ahgong:
hmm...this is all new to ah gong
and it is very disturbing
to actually act out your fantasy when it will risk everything good you have...hmmm
*deep pondering*
i wouldnt if i were u
its just not worth it 
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1964
|
quote:
Originally posted by Cookee:
Yes fidelity is the basic foundation for a beautiful relationship as we move on into a new era, that word is slowly being purged out of a "marriage dictionary" (not everyone though, I would still say that a large majority of them still do)
I once was sitting in a coffee-shop, stirring my usual cup of coffee, it was in the evening time and I could see the beautiful sun setting in the horizon, when a very old couple strolled pass the coffee shop, I guess that they must be about 60-80 years old, and they were holding their hands and pointing to the buildings around them as if they were reliving the old days (probably during their courtship years as both of them strolled down the same aisle, some of these buildings were not even build yet ) woo hoo! at their age (if my guess is correct) and still being close together is truly what the word fidelity stands for.
i wish that my marriage will be just like the old couples u saw
but first must find the rite partner
anyway cookie...my old man used to say that men will always be men
they have two brains...n sometimes the one based top of a long shaft rules. but well...who r we anyway to judge them?
cookee thanks for the insight
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 2973
|
quote:
Originally posted by ChaoZ:
Well from my personal observesion and a recent event.
I check in with one guy who have been dating a lot.
He said that gers are always the same, they have been together with a guy for like a few yrs, but yet they will still leave for another guy.(sometimes it's usually temp, yes they hold hands and do lover's do's) But it just happen that you found out, and u started a fight, and wow la! broken ties.
The theory I was told was because, gers always love pple showing love to them and stuff. When u are with a guy for sometime, he can be kinda of boring, and their attendtion will sometimes divert to somewhere else more intresting(at least different from what she is expriencing).And she still loves u thou, just that we tries to see if she could get u to do stuff she wants/she has expriences. And some guy doesn;t know and got pissed, ad wow la!..
kekeke!
It's like guys having their fantasy, and girls having theirs..
Cheers
Joel
they dunno what they really want and lost until the time they realise its too late. They don't realise the pain they caused to the guy who cared so much for them
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 8890
|
quote:
Originally posted by reverend:
i wouldnt if i were u
its just not worth it
 are you implying ah gong do that?
of course it is not worth it, but chaoz is saying that peple have that tendency to do that
is it a fact?
*still pondering* 
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1964
|
quote:
Originally posted by ahgong:
are you implying ah gong do that?
of course it is not worth it, but chaoz is saying that peple have that tendency to do that
is it a fact?
*still pondering*
haha...ah gong wont do that...i believe
just to deter u from even thinking bt it
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 8890
|
quote:
Originally posted by reverend:
haha...ah gong wont do that...i believe
just to deter u from even thinking bt it
just wondering if it is a fact that people do it cos of their unsatisfied fantasy
there are many people with fantasies but still remain faithful to their spouse no matter what
sex is not the ultimatum between a couple
companionship is
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 1964
|
quote:
Originally posted by ahgong:
just wondering if it is a fact that people do it cos of their unsatisfied fantasy
there are many people with fantasies but still remain faithful to their spouse no matter what
sex is not the ultimatum between a couple
companionship is
well said! 
|
Ultra Senior Member
Total Posts: 2475
|
quote:
Originally posted by ahgong:
sex is not the ultimatum between a couple
companionship is
u can say sex is not the ultimatum...but sex is also part and parcel of life in a relationship between a couple......
sorry for sounding crude but companionship without sex between a couple is not gonna get far......
|
Hardware One Forums
Email this page to a friend!
posted Thu 24 May 2001 12:02 PM
posted Thu 24 May 2001 01:56 PM
posted Sat 26 May 2001 09:04 AM